Ambiguous Grief

Ambiguous Grief: “A loss that occurs without closure or clear understanding” One of the hardest things in life has to be grieving the loss of a loved one who is still very much alive.

This past 11 months has undoubtedly been one of the hardest of my life. It is something that most don’t know about me but I am tired of being alone. That said, I have a few people in my life who understand what I am going through, but how do you explain to others that you are “grieving” the loss of someone(s) who are still alive? When someone passes away, people are quick to run and support, and provide the sense of safety and love we need in those moments. But this kind of grief is so different-one that I never wish upon anyone. There is no closure, answers, or safety in ambiguous grief. It is just there-hanging around all the time, and sometimes you feel strong and healthy, the next minute you are ugly crying.

The month of June has been my hardest yet-memories, wishes for a “do over”, missing special moments, and in a constant state of deep reflection. Many days, I wake up to tackle the day with a sense of purpose and meaning, and other days I just want to fast forward through the tough stuff. The feeling of emotional isolation that comes with this grief can be crippling and debilitating. That said, it does NOT define me. I am recognizing that by pushing forward and helping others, I am building myself up as well to be the best I can be.

I wholeheartedly believe that in by being vulnerable we find our power. So this my friends is me being slightly vulnerable which is all I can do right now. I help others because I know I am damn good at it-sharing my journey or vulnerabilities does not make me less capable of helping others in their difficult times-in fact in makes me MORE capable of helping others. As always, you are not alone and you are significant to this world! With much love, Rochelle xoxo